At Bat

Posted on April 7, 2010

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Baseball season has officially started. I have never been the biggest fan of baseball; however, I have always kept up with it, because I simply love sports. If you were to turn on my television right now, or anytime really, you would find ESPN being broadcast into your brain. I do not really know what draws me to them so much, but something does. Anyways, this past summer I played a few pick-up games, and it was oodles superior over the baseball I remember from Little League. I then started watching it on television, which is something I have never done before in my life. Now I find myself at the occasional Minor League game supporting the local Montgomery Biscuits. That is where I learned about the secret ingredient of a baseball game, the ‘at-bat’ song. As players walk up to batter’s box, a song of their choice blasts through the air. Players have their very own theme song! This is possibly one of the greatest secret ingredients of a live sporting event, ever. Well, if you love music, and, sports it is. Today, I present to you my batting line-up of ‘at-bat’ songs.

Attack of the 60 Ft Lesbian Octopus by Does it Offend You, Yeah?

Outrageous, and awfully excited, just like our first man up to the plate. He is here to please the crowd, not make any sort of statement whatsoever. Fouls a few balls into the stand, for the fans of course, then strikes out and smiles about it whilst waving to the crowd.

Going Out West by Tom Waits

“Well I know karate, voodoo too… I don’t need no make-up, I got real scars. I got, hair on my chest, I look good without a shirt.” Hell yeah.

J’Nuh by Sunny Day Real Estate

About halfway through this song, there is a gripping upsurge of guitar accompanied by a chorus of vocal greatness from Jeremy Enigk. That would be the coolest thing ever to walk up to the plate to.

Run This Town by Jay-Z

This song is where the line-up makes a statement. Only one out, two players on base, and if number four can keep everyone safe, up next is Harvey Milk. Who’s gonna’ run this town tonight? We gonna’ run this town tonight.

Anthem by Harvey Milk

The intro of this song is subterranean, silky, and small-minded; everything that should delineate a home-run king. Bring ‘em home Harvey!

Like a Boss by Slim Thug

This song is in dedication to Jason Heyward. Heyward made his debut MLB appearance this past Sunday by catching the ceremonial opening pitch, and followed that by thumping a home run on the very first ball pitched to him. The Atlanta Braves proceeded to roll over the Chicago Cubs, winning 16-5. Like a boss.

So Much Dirt In My Spotless Lab by Music Hates You

This first twenty seconds of this song are so powerful, that it has been banned by many stadiums all across the nation. No lie, it is that awesome. And so is the guy who picked this song, because he picked it.

Nude With Boots by The Melvins

A thumping drum intro followed by some cheerful guitar playing. This player not only has excellent taste in music, but also has confidence in his swing. When this player is at bat, everyone is happy.

Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top

This fool has style, his wallet is fat, and knows exactly what the people like. Well, the pretty gals anyways.

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Posted in: Playlists, Sports